big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
