halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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