I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
