Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
