Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
