I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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