Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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