Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Randomize
