At least make sure they are 18
Why
i think my mom watched the whole time
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
