soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
