I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I smell like Dick and happiness
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
