fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
