Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
