what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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