youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
