I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Randomize
