The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
