I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
