Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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