I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
