i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
