is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
