Whod you bang
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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