My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
