I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
