like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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