She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
