so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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