did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
