By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
how drunk are you?
Several
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
