Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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