so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
