Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
