i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
