If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
