I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
