The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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