just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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