ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
