I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
