Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
