im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
