She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
