So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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