Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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