Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
