I want to make a zoo with you.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
