Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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