you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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