It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
